Every now and then, in the newspapers, we read that young women are “kidnapped,” usually when they are about to get married. The reasons for the kidnapping and the kidnappers vary, but the victims are always young women. Sometimes, their brothers or fathers kidnap them because they don’t approve of the men they are going to marry. Other times, women are kidnapped by young men because they have chosen to marry someone else. Very often, we see that “honour” is involved in these incidents of kidnapping -– either the honour of the family or the honour of a rejected young man.

There are many stories of kidnapping among our classical myths and epics. The most famous one, of course, is Sita being snatched away by Ravana. Disguised as a holy man, Ravana appeared in the forest when Sita was alone and carried her off to his island fortress. Ravana kidnapped Sita for two reasons: one, that he had been told that she was the most beautiful woman in the world, and two, because his sister, Surpanakha, had been insulted and mutilated by Rama and Laksmana.

After the war, Rama asked Sita to prove her innocence in public. Sita had to step into a fire to show everyone that she had remained pure and true to Rama during her captivity. Sita did so and her loyalty and chastity were proved beyond any doubt. Years later, however, Rama banishes Sita because, apparently, people continued to gossip about her and her time away from him. Rama wants Sita back from her banishment when he meets his sons, but he demands another test of her devotion to him. This time, Sita will have nothing to do with the public spectacle and disappears into the earth. Rama puts Sita through these trials even though she is actually blameless. In fact, she is a victim twice over. Once by being kidnapped, and a second time by being doubted in public.

Another famous kidnap story comes from the Mahabharata, when Bhisma is asked by his father’s wife, Satyavati, to find appropriate women for her sons to marry. Bhisma kidnaps the three daughters of a neighbouring king and is bringing them home to become Kaurava queens and continue the royal line by producing sons. Along the way, Amba, the eldest of the princesses, begs Bhisma to let her go because she is in love with another prince who has promised to marry her. Bhisma does so, but when Amba returns to her beloved, he rejects her, saying (much like Rama), that since she has been with another man (Bhisma), he cannot trust her anymore. Amba has nowhere to go since Bhisma will also not take her back for his brothers. She swears revenge on Bhisma, does years of penance and finally kills herself in a fire, only to be reborn as Shikhandi, the instrument of Bhisma’s death in the war that follows. Amba, too, has done nothing to deserve the treatment meted out to her by the two men, neither of who are at all concerned about what happens to her after they have both rejected her.

In another complicated part of the Mahabharata, Krishna tells his best friend Arjuna to kidnap and marry his sister Subhadra -- it would be a simple and efficient way to avoid the negotiations and preparations for marriage and it would also ensure the loyalties of the Yadava clan in the war.

Why were these women in our classical stories kidnapped? Sita was kidnapped so that Ravana could avenge the insult to his sister; Amba was kidnapped to be married against her will and produce children for a royal line; and Subhadra was kidnapped to forge a political alliance. None of the women are actually taken for themselves -– they are all pawns in larger games of masculine power and rivalry that are entirely justified and are socially sanctioned.

What happens to these women in our myths after they are kidnapped seems to revolve around “honour” again. Rama believes his honour is at stake if he takes back a wife who has spent time with another man, even though it was against her will. Amba’s lover cannot take her back for the same reasons of “honour”, and neither can Bhisma. Subhadra is taken so that the honour of a military victory in the future is assured. Subhadra is the only one who is given respect after she has been kidnapped, even though she remains one of Arjuna’s many wives. The other two are left with no alternative but to remove themselves from the situation: Amba by disappearing into the forest and, eventually, walking into a fire; and Sita by asking the earth to reclaim her.

In the cases of the mythical past as well as the real present, it is actually the young woman’s honour that is being denied. In newspaper reports from the present, a woman’s decision is considered of no importance when her fathers and brothers and unwanted suitors keep her from making her own choices. In the stories of the past (Sita and Amba particularly), where women are abducted against their wishes, the women end up paying the price for an honour that is not theirs.

Why are we a society that condones the kidnapping of young women who make their own choices and decisions? A society that dishonours women for the sake of male honour and pride; that supports the idea that once a woman has been the subject of scandal, she should disappear? Surely women have equal rights, not just constitutional rights like the right to vote but also personal rights like the right to make their own choices and live by them.

-- Arshia Sattar

July 2005